My personal kashrut struggle

My personal kashrut struggle.
My childhood was a mix of cultural kosher and not at all. Let me explain. My mom and sister did not ascribe to any religious ideas regarding food and would eat accordingly. My dad on the other hand, would not eat pork or shellfish or the like. I followed his example. I had no idea that kashrut included separating dairy and meat. I love beef enchiladas/cheeseburgers/chicken parmesan/lasagna/caesar salads/steak and mashed potatoes. A couple years ago I decided to adopt this level of kosher. And I've found very tasty substitutes for most of the aforementioned foods. I'll have veggie enchiladas and eggplant parmesan and veggie lasagna and a caesar salad with salmon. I use margarine and soy milk in my mashed potatoes so I can still eat them with my steaks. But cheeseburgers have no equal substitute. None. I have tried a veggie patty (or soy patty) with real cheese and it tastes fine, but no where near the same. Then I've tried a real meat patty with soy cheese and it's not so tasty--soy cheese doesn't melt. What I want is a big juicy cheeseburger with real meat AND real cheese.
Many questions have plagued me. The idea behind kashrut is to do so essentially without explanation. That is pretty hard to deal with. Also, the idea isn't that the traef food is bad, but rather that is good and it's a choice to not eat it. That's hard too. Finally, something else that will be expanded on at a later time, is that I don't know what happens when mitzvot are broken (or not followed). Where my theology lies there is a continual exploration.
So I step back and I look at other mitzvot. I ask myself how I behave with them. Assuming egalitarian and gender neutrality, there are many mitzvot I do not follow at all (like teffilin, tzitzit). And then others that I follow the best I can, such as davening three times a day or shomer shabbat. In these I do not achieve perfection, I do not come close, I do not strive for it. I have evaluated multiple facets and come to a decision on each and that gives my overall practice.
For example, I do not think that driving on shabbat should be prohibited because it is not feasible for me to get to shul otherwise. Or, writing I completely do because it is an essential piece to a day of ceasing for me.
Just now thinking about it, I guess I find the parallel between all of these. And that is thought, evaluation, decision. I don't follow shabbat "all the way" but I do follow it all the way for me and I comfortable with my choices. This includes kashrut. I have made the choice to eat at non-kosher restaurants and order only kosher-style. I separate meat and dairy in my kitchen and buy only hechshered products. I am comfortable with these interpretations for me.
So there it is I suppose. And that is why I am uncomfortable with cheeseburgers.
Here's the kicker. I'm human. I've had three car accidents and yet consider myself a good driver and continue to drive. I have had arguments with close friends and yet still consider myself a good friend. I have burnt cookies and yet still whip up a delicious batch. My conclusion--I'm not perfect. And I don't want to be perfect. I want to understand, really understand through doing. And if I mess up, it's ok, it doesn't mean I'm less of something or bad, it means I gain understanding from a new perspective.
Even though I ate a cheeseburger yesterday, I am not a bad Jew; all my kashrut ideas are not a waste; I am not a hypocrite--I am human and I struggle or mess up sometimes.